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Lisanne, who has been married for 16 years, albeit a rocky one, has finally realised that her husband is a player. And what more, he is playing with someone in the same circle whom they hang out with. For the longest time, I have hinted that her husband is not the best of mans, giving her solid reasons why I think so, but to the weak, it is something to be blinded. I don’t blame her for being weak, she has lost both her parents and are not close to her siblings. So she really doesn’t have a support system in her life. Still……
I came from a divorced background and swore all my life that I would never get a divorce. It was tremendously difficult for us as children to go through our parent’s tumultous relationship when the divorce happened as there was so much hostility and bitterness involved and what more, our parents either completely neglected us or used us as ammunition. I wouldn’t wish it on any child.
Years have passed and wounds are healing, yet the hostility between our parents remain. Thus, I have come to the conclusion that a marriage is forever. There shouldn’t be a way out. Perhaps if our parents had handled it differently, things may have turned out differently, but I doubt very much, because I believe that any child that has to go through a divorce, no matter how amicable the separation is, will be affected. A seed of sadness is planted the moment our parents separate. And we carry that seed with us till we reach our graves. (Here’s your chance to disagree!)
So people, when you choose a life partner, be 500% sure that marriage is what you want and no matter what happens, you are in it forever. It is always the easy way out to get a divorce or break up when things don’t go your way. If you have children, don’t do it. You work harder than ever at yourselves to make it work for the children’s sake. If something led you to love your partner at the very beginning, you will find it back again. And you’re not supposed to stay together just for the children’s sake and not work at your relationship improving either as many couples do. Those are for the cowards. Sometimes, one party wants to work but the other doesn’t and this is where things get out of control. There is nothing to be done then than to allow the SELFISH to leave.
Which brings me to this point: Should the Hubs ever have an affair, would I divorce him? I have told him from Day One that I will see to it that his dick gets severed by someone much worse than Glenn Close in Fatal Attraction, but no, divorce is not for me.
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett degree in Architecture. She then spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this blog of over 15 years thereafter returning to the Corporate World stronger than ever as the Country Director of a British Multinational. She sets out to prove to all, that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past but has grown not one but TWO network marketing businesses in the notorious MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, achieving success in under 2 years. She believes in the MLM business model but realises the DRASTIC PITFALLS and great stigma attached to it, understanding EXACTLY WHY the majority would shy away (or RUN for their lives) from ANY MLM business. But open your eyes and take time to understand it intellectually, remove your hang-ups, confirm your research, and you may just want to seize an opportunity. She did. And no, she never went about chasing people for sales. She had a sophisticated system work for her through technology and a smartphone.
She now impacts lives authentically with proven strategies amassed through the last decade of her own transformation offering online coaching programmes and always supports the underprivileged. She believes that we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn some tools to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave enough to make contact as her life's purpose is to build people. She operates through a discovery call after which she will commit to helping you. Or not.
Most lose out on an opportunity because they are afraid they would be sold to, conned or whatever fear resides in their brain without even trying. And that's on them.
Mamapumpkin is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything, and she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, and supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
or glass in his food.
LOL
i read that somewhere and i’ve loved it ever since. 🙂
Well I on the other was glad when my parents got divorce. Funny thing is my mother was in it for life regardless. It was his cheatin’ ass that filed. We were not kids when this happened. I was previously married but that was a joke. When someone starts stalking you it’s time to get away, far away and quick fast. No kids involved so it was easy!
Divorce is not for me either which is why I chose the man that I did(1st marriage don’t count). I know what kind of person could and will tolerate my nonsense. 🙂 Nothing too bad. He’s my calm and seriously my better half. My best friend told me that I should be planning just in case. Well I am not because I have no divorce intentions so “just in case” doesn’t exist here.. I believe thinking like that will plant negative seeds in the mind and cause trouble. IMO.
My husband is probably afraid of my crazy as$. I remember when we were dating, I told him, if he ever cheated on me I better not find out. I am sure I had some crazy look on my face when I said that. The talk ended there.
He’s probably thinking this crazy Trinidad woman and how he’s heard about us putting pepper and other things in places they don’t belong causing pain…..hehehe 🙂 Ok let me stop. This is like a post not a comment…
If your spouse have cheated on u, it’s very diff to trust him/her again. The pic of the spouse being with his/her lover v forever be in your head. When the trust is gone, it’s diff to keep the marriage going. I think divorce in that case is an only option
I told him, if he wants to have sex with another woman, make sure I am there as well so we can have a 3some. hahahha
Hi mama, this post is so sobering and I hope I will always be reminded of what you have said, “A seed of sadness is planted the moment our parents separate. And we carry that seed with us till we reach our graves.” I asked my man to read it too, so that we will always be reminded of it.
Okay I am back again, to add some more to my book. I guess since I got some sleep my brain is a little rested. This is a great post by the way and should get many people thinking. I think physical abuse is totally unacceptable. No man has to right to hit his wife. So my question for you, if your husband were physically abusive to you do you see that as something you 2 can work out?
I guess there are a few things that will call for divorce after all. If I ever find out he’s hurt my kids or if he hits me. Either I will leave or I’ll be in jail.
Hehehe!! my same sentiments.. on your last few sentence.. 😉