I think that majority of problems in this world are a result of poor communication skills. Seriously. If people only learnt to communicate properly and clearly and soundly, the world would really be a happier place.
But how does one brush up on their communication skills? Is it personality? It is practice? It is intelligence? A combination of several factors?
I guess what people need to do when communicating first of all, is to think of what they are about to say and put themselves in the other person’s shoes and think about how they would react if someone else were to say the same things to them. Of course, it’s not as straight forward as it sounds but all this come with experience.
My youngest brother called me the other day from Melbourne.
“Che, I need your help.”
“What?” I’m already on my defense because if at all he needs my help, it would be about money.
“I need to borrow some money. Either from you or Mom.”
“I have no money to lend you and neither does Mom. Why do you need money?”
A long story continues about how he needs to find a new place to stay. The more he talks, the more suspicious I get because the impression we all have of him is that he is a spoilt brat. And this impression is formed through no fault but his own, thus we really cannot be blamed. If he wanted this impression to change, then he would have to change.
Without enough information and with his style of approach, he totally got me on the defensive wall and I was hesitant in helping him. Who wants to help a spoilt brat who needs to grow up and learn the meaning of responsibility? For every response he had, I had a counter response and in the end, the issue was unresolved and I am still waiting for him to take some action. But you know what? Why should I chase him for it? If he had the sense to grow up, he would take charge and revert to me with the things that I have asked for.
It is typical of society, this attitude. It’s everywhere in the work force. People take no action, then later they blame others for their misfortune. I, on the other hand, always protect my interests so that I cannot turn around to blame someone else. It is a victim attitude. It is the attitude of majority of the work force in KL – nobody wants to work! Every one wants a free ride. Easy money. Easy job. Fast success. Sorry to break it to you, honey, but it does NOT work that way. Sure, there are those who have had the luck. One in a million…….so don’t hope and wait. Work for it!
Instead of how my brother had approached me, which was a rather stupid way I might add (especially from such a smart kid), he should have first explained that his housemates were moving out of his current house and as a result of THAT, he would no longer be able to afford the rent as he would have no one else to share the rent of the entire house with. THAT would be his reason for needing (not wanting) to look for another place.
And then he could have added that he’d been on the lookout for new places but all of them seemed to be more expensive already from his little room in this shared house. And then, he could have asked me what I thought he should do?
Don’t you think that would have been a far better approach? Than “Che, I need your help!”
*sigh* Not only my brother, but so many people have so much to learn…….how are they going to sell any ideas in life if they cannot even communicate the simplest of concepts!?!
Thus starts the domino effect of poor communication. And they all come tumbling down……
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett degree in Architecture. She then spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this blog of over 15 years thereafter returning to the Corporate World stronger than ever as the Country Director of a British Multinational. She sets out to prove to all, that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past but has grown not one but TWO network marketing businesses in the notorious MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, achieving success in under 2 years. She believes in the MLM business model but realises the DRASTIC PITFALLS and great stigma attached to it, understanding EXACTLY WHY the majority would shy away (or RUN for their lives) from ANY MLM business. But open your eyes and take time to understand it intellectually, remove your hang-ups, confirm your research, and you may just want to seize an opportunity. She did. And no, she never went about chasing people for sales. She had a sophisticated system work for her through technology and a smartphone.
She now impacts lives authentically with proven strategies amassed through the last decade of her own transformation offering online coaching programmes and always supports the underprivileged. She believes that we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn some tools to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave enough to make contact as her life's purpose is to build people. She operates through a discovery call after which she will commit to helping you. Or not.
Most lose out on an opportunity because they are afraid they would be sold to, conned or whatever fear resides in their brain without even trying. And that's on them.
Mamapumpkin is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything, and she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, and supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
