You know, I’ve heard a lot of stories about helpers and maids, whatever you want to call them, but I don’t think I have actually met a more stupid maid as the one working for my Mother. My mother has never screamed so much in her life and just recently, I too, started screaming. And it takes a lot for me to ever scream at a maid. I have never done it before with any other maid. But this one…..well…..let’s just say, she knows how to pull the wrong strings ALL THE TIME.

When Lilis first arrived, she was a good worker. Clean, honest and willing to work. Her only problem was that she was slow and ignorant. Very slow. Meaning she took ONE HOUR to chop some vegetables (carrot, radish, onion, celery, tomato) for a pot of soup for 3 people. Can you believe it? It takes her 15 minutes to peel the carrot skin away!!! I do the whole process in 15 minutes.

So we kicked her ass a little and reminded her that she needed to learn how to work faster. She tried but till today, is still very slow. And because she is so darn slow, she hardly gets any time to rest. But her job is so easy, she is just so slow. She has to clean an apartment 0f 1500 square feet (sweep floor and wipe surfaces everyday which takes my Mother one hour, but her a few hours) and make my Mother’s breakfast 5 times a week comprising a cup of coffee and a sandwich. She only has to cook ONE meal or at most TWO a week, when we go over to visit my Mom. She has to do laundry (again, she takes half an hour to iron ONE shirt). And still, she is working non-stop. What a difference to an old maid my Mom had who finished her work so quick that she had so much time to watch Akademi Fantasia everyday.

Back to Lilis. She came not knowing what a refridgerator was, didn’t know how to open a car door, definitely didn’t know what a toaster, microwave, oven, hoover etc was. In her village, they had no appliances. Whatever food bought was finished within the day.

When I made her wash my curtains, she put the curtain hooks into the washing machine together with the curtains. When I told her to never re-freeze food after defrosting, she puts it right back into the freezer when all is not used. She mixes cocoa and Milo into the same container. She eats Panadol like drinking water. She has recently started lying out of fear and is becoming lazy and this has sent my Mother’s stress levels rocketing to Uranus.

Gosh, we can really feel the whole apartment vibrating when my Mother is on her way to space!! But believe you me, if you had to deal with this maid who is as dumb as rock, you would also start gettng stomach ulcers.

This morning, I asked her, “What happens when you take something out of the freezer? Is it hard or soft?”

Her reply, “Which one? Which one? I didn’t take.”

Then, “Any one. Don’t ask which one. I’m asking….if you take something out of the freezer, is it hard or soft??”

“Which one? Which one? I didn’t take.”

I repeated myself. “Any one, be it fish, soup, chicken, meat, whatever…..if you take it out of the freezer, is it hard or soft?”

“I didn’t take! I didn’t take!”

Fuck. Stupid or not?!

I took a deep breath. “Lilis, if you put your hand into a freezer and touch something inside, is it hard or soft?”

“Hard.”

Thank you, God. I continued, “OK. If you take that thing OUT of the freezer and leave it out for five hours, then is it hard or soft?”

“I didn’t take! Which one? Which one?”

“I didn’t say you took anything!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m just asking!!!!!!!!!!!! Will you please fucking listen???????????????????? If you take something out of the freezer and leave it out for a few hours, ANYTHING from the freezer, then will it become hard or soft?”

“Soft”

“OK. Once it is soft, then can you put it back into the freezer???”

“No. But I didn’t do it!!!”

Fuck.

“Yesterday, I told you that you need to cook this for so and so. If you don’t finish it to please put it back into the fridge. What did you do?”

“Oh…..you told me to put it in the freezer!!”

“I did not tell you to put it in the freezer. I told you to put it in the fridge. Things that come out of the freezer and have gone soft should never go back into the freezer!!!”

“Oh, it didn’t get soft. I just cut half and put it back into the freezer!!”

“But I told you to put in in the fridge!”

“Oh, I thought you said freezer!”

“Please open your ears!!! You do this ALL THE TIME!!! It doesn’t even make sense! Why would I ask you to put it in the freezer when I keep reminding you that concept of never putting soft thawed food into the freezer?!!”

By this time, I was already screaming.

Tell me your maid story.

**************************************************************************
Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett degree in Architecture. She then spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this blog of over 15 years thereafter returning to the Corporate World stronger than ever as the Country Director of a British Multinational. She sets out to prove to all, that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past but has grown not one but TWO network marketing businesses in the notorious MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, achieving success in under 2 years. She believes in the MLM business model but realises the DRASTIC PITFALLS and great stigma attached to it, understanding EXACTLY WHY the majority would shy away (or RUN for their lives) from ANY MLM business. But open your eyes and take time to understand it intellectually, remove your hang-ups, confirm your research, and you may just want to seize an opportunity. She did. And no, she never went about chasing people for sales. She had a sophisticated system work for her through technology and a smartphone.

She now impacts lives authentically with proven strategies amassed through the last decade of her own transformation offering online coaching programmes and always supports the underprivileged. She believes that we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.

A beautiful life without limits.

If you wish to learn some tools to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave enough to make contact as her life's purpose is to build people. She operates through a discovery call after which she will commit to helping you. Or not.

Most lose out on an opportunity because they are afraid they would be sold to, conned or whatever fear resides in their brain without even trying. And that's on them.

Mamapumpkin is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything, and she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, and supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.