I am a lazy parent. I admit it. What is a lazy parent? Well, a lazy parent is one who is lazy. You can be lazy in correcting your child, you can be lazy in physically getting up to go get things and instead use your little assistants to go get them for you instead (MAJOR GUILT), you can be lazy in feeding them, you can be lazy in teaching them, you can be lazy in putting them to sleep (so they stay up till they conk out themselves and lack sleep as a result, and then suffer the knock-on effects), you can be lazy in keeping them clean; and the list goes on. I am lazy in more ways than one. Parenting was never my thing. Wearing a Chanel suit is.

But now that I’m riding the parenting wave, I’m learning better how to balance my parenting wake board; and after 7 years of practising, I’ve learnt a few tricks amongst others.

One of it is kids NOT listening to you. Or kids having SELECTIVE hearing. Do you have kids who listen all the time? Do you have kids who do as you say after first instruction? Nah, not me either.

This is my take on it. Unless your kid is between the ages of 6-24 months (which is the age of the unknown to the age of pushing boundaries), technically speaking, if you taught your kids to actually listen to you, they should. And if they don’t, it is highly likely that you are guilty of some degree of lazy parenting.

I know I certainly am. Take heed those of you who still have a chance at this with young toddlers.

Interestingly, I have an almost 7 year old, who listens to me as and when she chooses (and when she doesn’t, I throw a flying fit! – so unnecessary) and an almost 2 year old who does not listen at all.

My 7 year old is already an effect of lazy parenting (of which I’m desperately trying to rectify now, but probably too late) and my 2 year old is about to embark on a journey of SOLID (unlazy) parenting.

With T1, I was rather inconsistent with instructions and reproval, thus sending mixed messages. I would reprimand her for something negative at times when it was convenient to me, and not reprimand her when it wasn’t convenient to me. With this kind of parenting, the child learns to take advantage of your stand. For example, interrupting me when I’m talking is a no-no. But sometimes, I will attend to her first and let her rush off so I can quickly get back to my conversation but sometimes, I would stop my conversation, remind her that she has to WAIT her turn, and make her WAIT, or tell her to come back later. She always makes the excuse that if she comes back later or WAIT, she would have forgotten what she needed to say so I tell her to write it down! Besides, if she could forget it, then perhaps it wasn’t SO important!

But seriously, this thing of sometimes Mommy will scold me for not doing something and sometimes she doesn’t for the same something, what does it teach a child? My rule now is that whenever I tell her to do something, that she is to do it IMMEDIATELY. I truly have not the energy to keep calling and calling.

So. When it comes to T2, I used to use the 1-2-3 method but that started losing effect after awhile. I’d tell her NOT to stand on the couch and she’d just look at me and smile. Then I’d threaten her, 1-2-3 and she’d quickly sit on the count of 3. But the moment I turn my back, she’s up standing again and I have to repeat my 1-2-3. And all this while, she’s got this darn cheeky grin on her little face, testing my patience and pushing her boundaries.

Now, I tell her NOT to stand on the couch ONCE. When she disobeys (and she ALWAYS does), I tell her one more time in a really stern tone of voice, after which she will either be LIFTED OFF the couch (and you see, this takes effort, but it must be done) and put into the cot, or she will quickly sit down begging for mercy when I walk towards her. The cot is our punishment naughty corner. She does not sleep in it.

We are working towards Mommy giving her an instruction once, and her following it IMMEDIATELY. For both girls.

I don’t own a cane but damn, sometimes I wish I did!

 

 

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett degree in Architecture. She then spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this blog of over 15 years thereafter returning to the Corporate World stronger than ever as the Country Director of a British Multinational. She sets out to prove to all, that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past but has grown not one but TWO network marketing businesses in the notorious MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, achieving success in under 2 years. She believes in the MLM business model but realises the DRASTIC PITFALLS and great stigma attached to it, understanding EXACTLY WHY the majority would shy away (or RUN for their lives) from ANY MLM business. But open your eyes and take time to understand it intellectually, remove your hang-ups, confirm your research, and you may just want to seize an opportunity. She did. And no, she never went about chasing people for sales. She had a sophisticated system work for her through technology and a smartphone.

She now impacts lives authentically with proven strategies amassed through the last decade of her own transformation offering online coaching programmes and always supports the underprivileged. She believes that we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.

A beautiful life without limits.

If you wish to learn some tools to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave enough to make contact as her life's purpose is to build people. She operates through a discovery call after which she will commit to helping you. Or not.

Most lose out on an opportunity because they are afraid they would be sold to, conned or whatever fear resides in their brain without even trying. And that's on them.

Mamapumpkin is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything, and she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, and supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.