Why do people do it? It makes my skin wither and crawl with vomit.

I need to understand why people do it. Because if I don’t, I’ll end up bed-ridden with self-mutating lepracy cells.

On rare occasions, we dine with what some people perceive to be elitists. On these occasions, we get first class service to the point of embarrasment because we’d be asked a million times over if we really don’t need to have our shoe laces ironed, our forks polished every 2 minutes, or our bum tissues folded for us. It is irritating, fake and puke inducing.

Puh-leeze………cut me the bullshit.

Today, we had lunch with a supposed VIP (very interesting pig), except that the staff who served us didn’t know what it was. It didn’t help that it was dressed simple. Stupid pig. It could have at least adorned a leather waist coat. Service was below average, darn slow despite an empty restaurant. I could have sworn that I caught them playing the statue game. And we know how they absolutely lurvvvveee pigs here in Malaysia, especially those of the Very Interesting sort.

When we asked for 3 glasses of cold water, the Malay cheongsam’d waitress brought us 8 glasses of warm water. When we asked her why the water was warm when we asked for cold water, she pointed to one of us and said SHE asked for warm water. Tsk, tsk…….so young……so naive…….

So we told her that WE wanted COLD water. She obviously didn’t hear us the first time because she had to ask us again how many glasses of cold water we needed.

From her look of annoyance, we asked her if it was a problem getting cold water and she said that the restaurant didn’t have cold water. So we asked if they had ice? Negative. How can a Chinese restaurant in a hotel NOT have ice? Then she explained that they had ice……except that she had to walk all the way over to another section of the hotel, namely the Banquet Hall?, to collect the ice.

So we asked, “Can’t you call them and get somebody to deliver it here?”

Negative. She then quickly asked if we would really like some ice and received from us a kind Oh don’t worry if it’s too difficult. I mean, despite only a handful of tables that are occupied, we do see that they are keeping you on your toes. This pig can wait. He prefers drinking shit anyway.

Later, when the Captain of the restaurant came by, we asked her why it was that their restaurant didn’t have ice??? She looked shocked and said that they DID have ice.

She’s teasing us, right?

We explained how the other girl told us they didn’t have ice. She got us our cold water immediately.

Then the tim sum was sooooooooooooooooo slow. How long does it take to steam some tim sum? Oh, maybe they were using distilled steam. Tee was wailing that she was starving and went up to 2 separate waitresses to ask for food. They couldn’t offer her anything and dismissed her. I asked them if they had ANYTHING – nuts, milk, white rice, a carrot, anything. Anything to shut an over-dramatic toddler from fainting from starvation. They didn’t have white rice??? Surely, that bitch (oops, I meant dog) deserved to have a smelly sock rolled and shoved into her mouth.

“Sorry, we don’t have anything. Your food is coming soon.”

Well, YOU try explaining that to a hungry, exhausted from swimming toddler, who’s been on the high chair waiting for the last 40 minutes!!! Have you ever swum backstroke underwater???

When the pig miraculously wrote and signed it’s name on the bill, suddenly goats and donkeys crept out of the curtains and filled our room. Did we want dessert? Are we sure we didn’t want dessert? They’d give us FREE dessert. What about mooncake? Does the child like mooncake? Oh, what an absolutely delightful adorable little girl she is! Here, have some mooncake. At the expense of sounding rude, can I wipe your butt, sir? Or smell your fart?

After signing the bill, the pig trotted straight to the GM at front desk and told him to get their restaurant sorted. A thousand apologies followed. Brings back memories of Mind Your Language, doesn’t it?

Someone said that perhaps the Hotel should have trained their staff to recognise their higher bosses in order to prevent such unpleasantries. Well, that someone was a real stupid cow because hello???!!! Staff should be offering first class service to ANYONE and EVERYONE. If your job is to serve, you serve. The customer is always right. And even when he isn’t, you make him feel he is. You don’t just serve and be nice to a Datuk, a Tan Sri, a VIP or your own boss.

So yeah, I had a real good time having lunch with a whole bunch of farm animals today.

Cluck, cluck, cluck.

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett degree in Architecture. She then spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this blog of over 15 years thereafter returning to the Corporate World stronger than ever as the Country Director of a British Multinational. She sets out to prove to all, that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past but has grown not one but TWO network marketing businesses in the notorious MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, achieving success in under 2 years. She believes in the MLM business model but realises the DRASTIC PITFALLS and great stigma attached to it, understanding EXACTLY WHY the majority would shy away (or RUN for their lives) from ANY MLM business. But open your eyes and take time to understand it intellectually, remove your hang-ups, confirm your research, and you may just want to seize an opportunity. She did. And no, she never went about chasing people for sales. She had a sophisticated system work for her through technology and a smartphone.

She now impacts lives authentically with proven strategies amassed through the last decade of her own transformation offering online coaching programmes and always supports the underprivileged. She believes that we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.

A beautiful life without limits.

If you wish to learn some tools to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave enough to make contact as her life's purpose is to build people. She operates through a discovery call after which she will commit to helping you. Or not.

Most lose out on an opportunity because they are afraid they would be sold to, conned or whatever fear resides in their brain without even trying. And that's on them.

Mamapumpkin is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything, and she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, and supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.