I keep calling her my ‘almost’ four year old because I am in denial. I don’t want a four year old. I want her to be three forever………………But.

I’ll have to face it sooner or later, as Tee races towards teen-hood and gives me the ride of my life. A bloody painful ride at that. God really has no mercy.

I had borrowed my mother’s helper and was driving her home today at peak hour traffic in the heavy rain. Not very clever at all. It was also Tee’s dinner time. I told you my brain had disintegrated during pregnancy, didn’t I? So we have this long arduous journey with tired and cranky preschooler strapped down in car refusing to eat what I had instructed the helper to cook for her. Lovely. I have always known I was self-abusive.

I wanted Tee to eat, because she didn’t have a good lunch. I told the helper to feed her in the car due to time constraints. When Tee finally took a bite, she said she couldn’t swallow it. If there is one annoying thing about my daughter, it’s her laziness to actually chew food. She loves soups and porridge but if you gave her rice or pasta, then it’d better not have chunks of anything with it. If you snipped those chunks till they resembled dust, fine. Actually, it depends on her mood. This rascal is just a queen of culinary delights.

After ten minutes, she claimed she couldn’t swallow.

“What do you mean you can’t swallow? Just chew it and swallow it.”

“I can’t….”

“What do you mean, you can’t! Of course, you can! Just swallow!”

“I keep chewing and chewing but it just wouldn’t go down my throat!!!” *pause* “I want to spit it out….”

“Don’t give me that. You are NOT spitting that out. Just swallow it!!!”

I hear banging and kicking behind me.

“Tee, don’t you dare throw your tantrum right now because I will throw you out of the window.”

“I CAN’T swallow!!!!!!!”

In my calm voice, I advise…..“Yes, you can. And if you want to see your Nana, then I suggest you swallow it.”

“No, I can’t!!!”

“I think we better forget about any birthday parties since you have this swallowing problem. How are you going to swallow your birthday cake, right?”

More banging and kicking, followed by grunting behind me. Yes, she even knows how to grunt! Like Medusa on crack!

“I want my birthday party…..but I can’t swallow!!! I already tried!!! It won’t go down my throat, Mommy!!!!”

“Look Tee. I’m not going to talk to you right now. I am very angry.”

“I can’t swallow, I told you!”

For the next 15 minutes in the jam whilst she looks out her window with her mouth full, I can see her mildly chewing for the longest time, from my rear view mirror. It irritates the hell out of me that there is food that has been in her mouth for the last half hour. IT FUCKING IRRITATES ME!!!!

“Why aren’t you swallowing it? I’m telling you, you’re not seeing your Nana tonight.” Knowing full well she was intending to keep it in her mouth till we got to her Nana’s because once her Nana is present, she does whatever she likes i.e. spit the food out. I did not want to give in.

“I want to see Nana. This food is too chewy.”

“Well, if you had just chewed and swallowed immediately in the first place, you wouldn’t be having this problem!!! Why do you like keeping food in your mouth?????”

“I can’t swallow!!” She really makes it sound like she has a medical problem that is hindering food from going down her esophagus. Does she really think I’m buying it?!

Then she coughed and made noises like she was about to vomit. A very small part of my brain feared I was practicing child abuse in the mildest form but the bigger part of my brain took over.

“Tee! If you vomit in my car, I promise you, you are being dropped off at that bus stop RIGHT THERE!!!”

The vomiting noises stop immediately. Gosh, how I know my daughter so well. If she really wanted to, she could vie for the Academy Awards.

Meanwhile, I am praying to God. Why…why….why….why can’t she just swallow her food? Why does she have to defy me? Why does she want to go against my wishes? Why can’t she just swallow it? I can’t believe she cannot just swallow it. My blood had been bubbling for the last 40 minutes in the jam and I suddenly wondered why we were having this big tussle. Was it really worth it? She was quiet, still looking outside the window twirling what must be a rubber ball of dehydrated rice. GROSS!!!

So I told the helper in Malay to let her spit it out. Of course, Tee had no idea what I’d said but I was looking at my mirrors all the time. When the helper put the Tupperware below her mouth, the look of relief on Tee’s face was……well, relieved. It was like losing a thirty thousand dollar diamond ring for an hour, and then finding it.

“Thank you, Mom.” came a tiny voice from behind.

“I’m very angry now. I’ll say ‘you’re welcome’ later!” I retorted back.

There was silence the whole 1 hour way till we got to my mother’s place.

Somebody. Please tell me you go through this too.

*cries*

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Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett degree in Architecture. She then spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this blog of over 15 years thereafter returning to the Corporate World stronger than ever as the Country Director of a British Multinational. She sets out to prove to all, that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.

Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past but has grown not one but TWO network marketing businesses in the notorious MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, achieving success in under 2 years. She believes in the MLM business model but realises the DRASTIC PITFALLS and great stigma attached to it, understanding EXACTLY WHY the majority would shy away (or RUN for their lives) from ANY MLM business. But open your eyes and take time to understand it intellectually, remove your hang-ups, confirm your research, and you may just want to seize an opportunity. She did. And no, she never went about chasing people for sales. She had a sophisticated system work for her through technology and a smartphone.

She now impacts lives authentically with proven strategies amassed through the last decade of her own transformation offering online coaching programmes and always supports the underprivileged. She believes that we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.

A beautiful life without limits.

If you wish to learn some tools to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave enough to make contact as her life's purpose is to build people. She operates through a discovery call after which she will commit to helping you. Or not.

Most lose out on an opportunity because they are afraid they would be sold to, conned or whatever fear resides in their brain without even trying. And that's on them.

Mamapumpkin is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything, and she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, and supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.