Do you ever get free loaders riding on a high? I just think it is wrong. The friends who are your friends because they want freebies from you, the friends who are friends because of your social circle, the friends who are friends because they think you are rich and think that rich friends are better than poor friends, the friends who are friends because they want to ride on your network. It is so common.
My parents have paid for my holidays or clothes or anything else in the past, as gifts, because they wanted us to go on holiday with them and when we could not afford it, they would offer to pay for us because it is more important for them to have us there than not. As for clothes, my Mama was just super generous like that. She didn’t just pay for me, she paid for the whole world. Uhuh. When a waitress in the club’s mother had cancer and needed chemotherapy but couldn’t afford chemo? My Mom borrowed money from us to give it to them just so the old lady could go for chemo. When she saw a man in hospital who couldn’t afford his meds? My Mom would bring out her wallet to pay for it. When friends come over with sop stories about money woes? My Mom would readily loan them the money (and of course never see it come back!). So I can see myself very naturally following my Mom’s examples but I want it to STOP. Right now.
Believe me, it is a constant internal battle within me. Today I had a massage and it cost RM120 but I wanted to give her RM150. Why? Because it is already so freaking cheap and how much does a masseuse earn anyway? Plus when I am on holiday, I can spend a few hundred on a massage so why not her? Furthermore, she was way better than those spas on holiday! But then a little voice whispered to me, “Hey. You have to change your spending habits now. You are not working. And although you have started a new business, are still at it’s baby stages and not exactly a millionaire. You cannot afford to be so generous.”
Guess what I did? I paid her RM150.
FAIL!!!
I may have much more than many, I work damn hard for my lot, and although I am very happy to give to many people, I cannot give to all. Because there are too many!!! It’s like this. If you have RM1,000 to give to one person, fine. But if you have only RM10,000 but have to give to 100 people? It almost makes it not worth it. I would rather spread it within 10 peeps and call it a day and will just have to politely decline the rest. I am sorry. I am not a millionaire and even if I were, YOU should not have that entitlement mentality to ask me and expect me to give it to you. People think I am so rich. Little do they know I live for the moment. I do NOT have huge savings stashed away in my bank account like most people. I spend everything I make because I could die tomorrow. The Hubs hates that about me. But that is what it is.
I love those friends who only call to ask me how I am after a long silence when actually, they just need something from me. Of course, I oblige because as my own Mama taught me, why let them know that you know? Why let them know what you think? You have to be 10 steps ahead, she said. And dear friends, you have nothing to worry about because all you have to do is be yourselves. I love you most that way.
I have been experiencing free loaders riding on a high since I was a kid so no worries, my antennas are pretty sharp to realise who is sincere and who isn’t despite being warned by people that majority of folks who hang around me are just here for a reason. It isn’t true. I know the ones who are genuine, and I know the ones who aren’t. Those who aren’t do not have staying power for sure. Remember, it takes 5 years max to fake yourselves. Once that time is up and I have not relented, you will be out of my life. It is actually quite easy to see who your real friends are. Just create a crisis and you will see 99% of them fly away. It’s not like I am a millionaire and everyone wants to be my friend, no. But for whatever reason, people buzz to me like a pot of honey and then fly away when the honey runs out.
So what is a free loader? It is someone who thinks you can offer them something to gain be it material goods or cash or some benefit of sorts. The social climber is the one who will want to know you just because your Mother knows the Royal Family or your Dad is a Tan Sri. There are plenty of those too. It makes me shudder. Why in the world would ANYONE want to befriend a Tan Sri (any!) or be in touch with the Royal Family (any!). Know what I mean? We choose our friends based on their hearts not their community status, nor their wealth meter, nor their social circles. This personality trait in people makes me vomit. I’m just a simple girl trying to live a simple life but sure attract a lot of crazy people. *wails*
I am ranting because this week alone, I have had requests for several charity donations, free Izumio products, free time and free other things. Do I have a sticker on my forehead saying YOU CAN SUCK ME DRY?
No.
Please, I am not Mother Theresa. I have my own family to feed. Yes, they go to International School and yes, I have nice holidays, but that is my choice and I am entitled to my choice. I work hard for my money and so I can spend it however I choose. If you have a problem with it, go screw yourself. I do not need to justify to anyone about how much money I give away or if I give away nothing. It is my absolute prerogative and like Marina Mahathir, I do not give a toss what anyone thinks of me. As long as my conscience is clear, God is watching. Judgement Day will come and I will be judged by Him. Not by you. Sekian, terima kasih.
**************************************************************************Who is Mamapumpkin?
Mamapumpkin spent 7 years in London committing crimes to gain her Bartlett degree in Architecture. She then spent 7 years as a Stay At Home Mom raising her children as documented in this blog of over 15 years thereafter returning to the Corporate World stronger than ever as the Country Director of a British Multinational. She sets out to prove to all, that you can have anything and everything that you want; if you have that fire of desire burning within and the drive to work hard. Even better with much love.
Mamapumpkin has not only grown corporate businesses successfully in the past but has grown not one but TWO network marketing businesses in the notorious MLM (Multi-Level Marketing) industry, achieving success in under 2 years. She believes in the MLM business model but realises the DRASTIC PITFALLS and great stigma attached to it, understanding EXACTLY WHY the majority would shy away (or RUN for their lives) from ANY MLM business. But open your eyes and take time to understand it intellectually, remove your hang-ups, confirm your research, and you may just want to seize an opportunity. She did. And no, she never went about chasing people for sales. She had a sophisticated system work for her through technology and a smartphone.
She now impacts lives authentically with proven strategies amassed through the last decade of her own transformation offering online coaching programmes and always supports the underprivileged. She believes that we can all have a life of our own desires to enable real contribution into the world. But first, one needs to understand what this all means.
A beautiful life without limits.
If you wish to learn some tools to propel your life forward guaranteed, be brave enough to make contact as her life's purpose is to build people. She operates through a discovery call after which she will commit to helping you. Or not.
Most lose out on an opportunity because they are afraid they would be sold to, conned or whatever fear resides in their brain without even trying. And that's on them.
Mamapumpkin is a living testimony that women really can have a lot. Being financially and time free has enabled her to travel the world anytime, anywhere, doing anything, and she spends most of her days with her children, having fun, and supporting others wherever she can. Also having fun.
